Getting to Yes

The problem it solves

Most people negotiate by taking a position and defending it. You ask for a price, they offer less, you meet in the middle and both leave a little annoyed. Fisher, Ury and Patton argue that people think they must choose between being soft, which keeps the relationship and loses the deal, and being hard, which risks both. Their answer is a third way, which they call principled negotiation. It is short enough to remember in a meeting, and it applies to a price talk, a job offer or a disagreement with a partner.

What changes after you read it

You prepare differently. Before a negotiation you work out what you actually need, what the other side probably needs and which options could serve both. You separate the person from the issue, so a hard conversation is not about who wins. You decide in advance what you will do if there is no deal, which changes how you behave at the table. You also ask a different question when someone makes a demand, which is why they want it.

Why it matters for a business

A business is a series of agreements with customers, suppliers, staff, investors and partners. The terms you accept shape your margins and your room to act. Small improvements repeat across many deals. The book is especially good on relationships you will need again, since its first point is that the way you negotiate affects the next negotiation.

The idea I would take from it

The line I remember is that interests are what cause a position. Positions are what people say, interests are why they say it, and a good deal is built on the second. I would add that you should find out the other side's interests before you start, and ask for the facts and standards behind a number before you argue with it.

When to read it, and when to skip it

Read it before a significant negotiation, or when you notice a pattern of poor outcomes. It is short and readable. The authors themselves say positional bargaining can be fine for a simple, single-issue deal between strangers, so do not expect the method to fit a quick one-off sale. Some readers feel it understates how much power and culture shape negotiations, and the closing section of the book answers questions on this, so read that part as well.

Decisions you can log

Negotiations are decisions with a record worth keeping. Write down your interests, your alternative and the criteria you used, then note what you agreed and why. When the next similar negotiation comes up, you can check what worked. Over time the logged pattern becomes a playbook for recurring deals such as renewals and supplier terms, and a colleague can follow it.

Roger Fisher and William Ury, with Bruce Patton as co-author of the second edition, argue that negotiation does not have to be a contest of wills. The Harvard Negotiation Project method, which they call principled negotiation, aims at agreements that are wise, efficient and good for the relationship. They sum it up as "hard on the merits, soft on the people." The book has four principles, three chapters on what to do when things go wrong and a long final section of answers to common questions.

Don't Bargain Over Positions (chapter 1)

The authors judge any method of negotiation by three tests: does it produce a wise agreement, is it efficient, and does it protect the relationship. Positional bargaining fails all three. Each side digs into a stance, ego becomes tied to the stance, and agreement gets less likely. Soft bargaining makes you easy to exploit and hard bargaining provokes a hard response. The answer is to change the game and negotiate on the merits.

Separate the People from the Problem (chapter 2)

Every negotiator has an interest in the substance and an interest in the relationship, and the two get tangled. The authors recommend sorting the human problems into perception, emotion and communication, and dealing with each directly and not by giving concessions. That means putting yourself in the other side's shoes, letting people vent, listening actively and speaking about your own concerns without blaming. They add that prevention works best, so build a working relationship before the negotiation starts.

Focus on Interests, Not Positions (chapter 3)

The authors say "Interests motivate people; they are the silent movers behind the hubbub of positions." Their examples are two men arguing about a library window, where opening a window in the next room gave fresh air without a draft, and the Camp David talks, where Egypt wanted sovereignty over the Sinai and Israel wanted security. To find interests, ask why and why not, list the likely interests on both sides and talk about them openly. They point out that shared interests exist in every negotiation, and so do differing ones.

Invent Options for Mutual Gain (chapter 4)

Four obstacles block good options: premature judgment, searching for a single answer, assuming a fixed pie and thinking that solving their problem is their problem. The cure is to "invent first, decide later", with a brainstorming session run with clear ground rules and criticism held back. The authors encourage you to look for shared interests and for differences that can be traded, since something cheap for you can be valuable to them. They also suggest making the other side's decision easy.

Insist on Using Objective Criteria (chapter 5)

When interests conflict, base the result on something independent of either side's will, such as market value, expert opinion, precedent or a fair procedure like one person cutting and the other choosing. They give three working rules. Frame each issue as a joint search for objective criteria. Reason and be open to reason about which standards apply. Never yield to pressure, only to principle.

Develop Your BATNA (chapter 6)

The chapter asks what to do when the other side has more strength. It discusses the bottom line first, and it is not enthusiastic. A bottom line protects you from a bad deal but it shuts your ears and limits imagination. They offer the best alternative to a negotiated agreement, or BATNA, as a better measure. Your power depends mainly on how attractive it is for you to walk away, so developing and improving your alternative is the most effective step against a stronger opponent.

What If They Won't Play? (chapter 7)

When the other side pushes hard, the natural reaction is to push back, which brings you back to positional bargaining. The authors suggest negotiation jujitsu: do not reject their position, look behind it; do not defend your ideas, invite criticism and advice; and recast personal attacks as attacks on the problem. They also recommend asking questions, using silence and, when needed, bringing in a third party to work on a single text.

What If They Use Dirty Tricks? (chapter 8)

Tricky tactics fall into three groups: deliberate deception, psychological warfare and positional pressure. The advice is to recognise the tactic, raise it explicitly and question whether it is legitimate, which turns the dispute into a negotiation over the rules of the game. Be prepared to stand your ground and, in their words, don't be a victim.

In Conclusion and Ten Questions People Ask

The conclusion says the method is mostly common sense organised into a usable framework, and encourages you to learn by doing. The second edition adds ten questions on fairness, dealing with people, tactics and power, such as whether positional bargaining ever makes sense, who should make the first offer and how to move from options to commitments. The authors note that principled negotiation is practical advice and not a moral claim.

What to do with it

• Before your next negotiation, write down your interests, the other side's likely interests and your best alternative.
• Prepare several options that could serve both sets of interests, and decide on them after the brainstorm, not during it.
• Choose a fair standard, such as market rates or a comparable deal, to support your numbers.
• In the meeting, ask why behind each demand and listen for the interest.
• After the deal, record what you agreed, what you gave up and what you would do differently.